"Ha ha ha guys, very funny. I see what you did there. Taking my Kowie and running it through all the dirt over there. I'm sure it was a lot of fun, heck I bet if I wasn't laying in the tent with all of my limbs duct-taped together, I could've come out and helped get all that mud everywhere too.
"I know, I know. You didn't want me yelling expletives and such while trying to get you to stop running into trees with my bike, but can you really blame me? I mean, I just bought the thing Tuesday, and frankly, I don't even know you guys. But, let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?
"I brought a can of this here Plexus Spray Cleaner made by Vega. Oh? You've never heard of it? Well, buddy, let me tell you something -- I use it on all my helmets to keep them looking brand new. It can also be used to clean, polish, and protect all painted or clear-coated plastics just like all the panels that are caked in mud on my bike there.
"What's that? No, I don't think it's going to clean your police record, silly! But hey, you cut this duct tape off my wrists, grab a towel, and we'll just call the whole thing a misunderstanding."